end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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