I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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