$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
