ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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