why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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