I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
