Betty ford says i'm here all night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
