new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
