wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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