yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
