She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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