Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
