ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
