your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
