is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
