It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
