He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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