This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
