genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
