Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
