The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
