Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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