well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
