The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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