Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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