so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
