At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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