Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
