We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I know her cup size but not her name....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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