I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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