I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
