Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
