I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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