I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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