just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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