it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
