i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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