Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
