She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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