What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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