I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
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Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing