and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend