I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
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