using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize