apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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