i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
