if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
