I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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