I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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