Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
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He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
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1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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