Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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