i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think my moral compass just broke
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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