is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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