I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize