I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
