SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We had to coat check the pizza.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
