My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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