doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I faked an abortion last night.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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