Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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