you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
